In these crazy times I often find myself unable to sleep. This is a bigger deal than it might seem as I pride myself on being an excellent sleeper. I can always fall asleep at the drop of a hat and stay asleep all night.

But these days sleep doesn’t come so easily. So I’ve turned to ancient aliens and the new Netflix show hangar 1 to lull myself to sleep, or at least give me something else to think about.

But it’s caused me to think about all the conspiracy theories about the government knowing about aliens. Area 51 and all that, the big coverups.

But do we really think if any of that was true Trump would have been able to keep those secrets? They would have to have told him, right? And there’s just no way that man can keep a secret like that. He would have milked that for all its worth, holding prime time news conferences every night on the latest developments.

So if there are aliens then our government doesn’t know shit about them. That much I’m sure of.